Good morning, Digital Neighbors!
This morning’s ramble is an edit and refinement of something I wrote almost two years ago. Acceptance and expectations are one of the reoccurring topics in my prayers and thoughts.
Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better take things as they come along with patience and equanimity. – Carl Jung
It is far better to take things as they are. Acceptance is such a key to happier and healthy living. While it is easy to talk about it is not easy to practice. It is so easy to confuse acceptance with resignation. While they look similar at the beginning of an experience, acceptance leads to peace and hope while resignation leads to despair and apathy. Acceptance does not mean we just float along living a life free of effort and devoid of growth. Acceptance as I experience it is wrestling with reality as I discern what I can and can't change. Any of you 12 Steppers out there know the drill. 😉
My personal cocktail of peace is built on a foundation of faith. If you don't believe in something greater than yourself, I am not sure how you ever pursue sustained growth that allows you to discern your strengths and address your shortcomings. You don't have to believe in a deity, but if not, something ought to be more; higher goals, systems, virtues, a better life or world for yourself or those you love.
My faith as a Catholic is not without personal question and criticism, any individual or community should be able to withstand either. Killing your critics and silencing your questioners is a sign of a decaying system, that needs to be reformed or abandoned. No community is free from decay or corruption because no individual is. I know, obvious, but some think there is some magical system, religion, or science out there that fixes it all. Good luck and don't forget to look for where the bodies are hidden if they are not open about the putting the outliers to death.
From that foundation I do my best to built it up with gratitude, humor and a desire for greater clarity and acceptance of reality. The clarity and acceptance part is under constant refinement since being wrong, mistaken and ignorant is a reoccurring experience for myself and many of us. One of the fruits of my personal system of striving for clarity is a refined sense of expectation. The reality of unspoken expectations, exaggerated expectations, and imposed expectations taints relationships. They can be the ruin of families and friendships. Expectations are real, and many go unaddressed because they work for the good of all in a family, workspace, or community. As you become aware of expectations, the questioning of them is either an invitation to understanding or change. Beware, those who like the status quo are not in favor of change. Few really like changes, most just want it “better.” I am not saying you should not have any expectations, but having clarity about them is better than not knowing they exist and still living under the trials they will create. Imposed expectations reduce relationships to submission & compliance, communicated and discussed expectations have the potential to become the launch pad for a shared future.
Enough ramblings - Happy Saturday my friends!
