This classic dog versus cat diary has been circulating the internet for years, but it is always fresh and funny! The comparison between feline and canine is a hilarious riff on the stereotypical differences between our two favorite animals!
The Dog’s Diary
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM – Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
The Cat’s Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities.
However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He has obviously gone mad.
The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.
Although I do not know the author of this piece, I want to thank them for bringing a huge smile to my face!
Welcome guests and digital neighbors! I hope you enjoy your visits here. May this little spot become a haven for those who want to connect with others away from the toxicity of many sites. Locals is a great experience for me and I hope it is a good experience for you. Any community is only as good as its members, so please see the community "About" section for guidelines as to what I hope will help us enjoy our visits here.😇
Dues to changes @LOCALS this community is no longer a free community if you want to participate. I believe you can lurk about and read things, but you will be unable to post without signing up for $2.00 monthly charge. Since this changed has happened, I want all of you to know that any funds that come as a result of this community will be given to charity. I came here for community - not for profit.
The two charities I want to sponsor at the beginning will be our St. Vincent de Paul Food Pantry that services our New Melle Community. The other charity will...