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Good Morning Digital Neighbors! Happy Saturday ADD Irregulars, WSN Aficionados, Friends & Refugees, Misfits & PHAM, and all the rest of ya's that frequent Locals or just found there way to one of these communities.

Here is some recent reading to share, some good secular wisdom. If you are in the middle of the mire, advice such as this is usually chaffing and off-putting. Good friends help us out of the mire, they do not affirm it and leave us as they found us. A good friend can meet us in our low valley and help realize there is a path to higher ground. I know the advice Steve gives here does not fit every situation, but it probably fits 95% or higher of us. The labeling of "not I, this is just feel good bullshit" is of your making. None of these five points focus or describe the shit show you may currently be experiencing in life, they describe your attitude and what belongs to you. If you do not think you are the owner, steward and director of your attitude that you are not an adult or you are so mentally or emotionally compromised you probably should be under the care of a good therapist. I mean that humbly, if we don't think our attitude is ours, you and I need help. A good friend, a trusted family member, a sponsor or a paid professional is needed in your life.

5 Factors: Take Control of Your Life!

1) Understand that no experience comes labeled, you are the labeler. The power to choose is yours! As William Shakespeare said, “Nothing is good or bad but thinking makes it so.” You and only you are the labeler of your experiences. Do you complain that roses have thorns or do you rejoice that thorns have roses? You have the ability to choose your reactions. All too often the decision to label is not done consciously and your internal dialog will automatically slap on a negative label. You must be aware of this and change it immediately. Realizing your ability to label is an awesome power and a great step towards success. Upon taking control, you can select empowering labels in place of the negative ones. You are in control of the experience.

2) Avoid blaming yourself for making mistakes. The road to success is always under construction. Every morning we awake to a day we have never seen or experienced. Mistakes will be made and obstacles will appear. You have no control over these events but you do control your reaction to them. It is important that we forgive ourselves for making mistakes. We need to learn from our errors and move on. It is when we hurt that we learn. The power to choose how much we learn is ours. Do you see a stumbling block or a stepping stone? You decide.

3) Understand that like energies attract. Like attracts like. Positive thoughts produce positive results. If you surround yourself in positive emotions, energies, thoughts, and people, then positive events will be the end result. Unfortunately, the same is true if you surround yourself in negative energies. Do you know someone that is always negative and melancholy? Notice that bad luck seems to continuously follow them. They may say that a rain cloud is right above his or her head. Well, they’re right. And as soon as they realize that it is themselves who create that rain cloud they can choose to make it disappear. What you plant, so shall you harvest. If you plant rose seeds you get roses, right? Plant seeds of happiness, hope, success, and love; it will all come back to you in abundance. This is the law of nature.

4) Determine what you want and act on it. Imagine an archer that did not have a target to shoot his arrow at. He would fire his arrows aimlessly and would not be successful. Have a goal, write it down, and act upon that goal. Now that there is a clear target you can have a plan of action. A visible target is easier to hit. Nobody ever sat his or her way to success. It takes hard work, motivation, a positive attitude and a strong belief that you can do it. That combination produces what we call luck. Do not sit back and wait for life to happen to you. Have a plan and take the needed steps to create what you want.

5) Choose to feel happy. It has been said, “Act as if and you will become”. Try it. It really works. Put your chin up, smile, and think positive thoughts. Remember the happy times and notice all you have to be grateful for and you will feel lighter, happier and more empowered. If you frown, groan, grumble, and focus on everything wrong in the world you will feel down, lethargic and negative. Why bother with that? Identify the things and people that make you feel unhappy and eliminate them from your life. Nothing good can come from them. Choose to be happy and positive. Take steps to ensure a more joyful and positive life. Do happy things, see positive movies, read good books, be around positive people, and practice affirmations. Identify the things and people that bring you happy feelings and surround yourself with them. Cultivate your relationship with yourself and you will be successful. Taking control of your life takes time and requires decisions. The rewards make the efforts worth it.

Life, the Truth, and Being Free: Steve Maraboli

As with anything, take what you like and leave the rest. Have a great weekend neighbor!

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The Comforting of the Disciple

Now the Beloved often came into the Garden both because of the great joy He had in the Garden and because of the great love He bore the Lover and the Disciple.  Often He talked with the Lover, but the Disciple because he was not yet perfected in Love could neither hear nor see the Beloved, though he often felt a strange joy, he did not know why.  Therefore he was sorrowful, for it seemed to him that on account of his sins he would never find the Beloved.  So weeping he came to the Lover and said, “Sir, I know that I am a very sinful man and I much fear that though I search all my life yet on account of my sins I shall never find the Beloved.”

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Thoughts on Alan - Updated with Alan's e-mail address

Dear ADD Irregulars,

Alan has decided to step away from our community for a while. He may return, but right now he’s in a difficult chapter of life. This past year has been especially rough for him—depression, anxiety, unemployment, and some challenging family situations.

I spoke with him briefly on Telegram. He admitted to feeling worn down, and the recent football meme hit him at exactly the wrong moment and in the wrong state of mind. He didn’t sound like he was blaming Rich, but in his current vulnerability, he experienced the exchange as unnecessarily mean-spirited. I suspect the “whiny-cunt” line cut much deeper than it normally would have.

That’s the funny and frightening thing about emotions: on a good day, that back-and-forth between Alan and Rich would have been hilarious. On a bad day, it was simply too much. No one could have known beforehand.

In Alan’s own words: “I saw it at exactly the wrong moment and it just hit me as unnecessarily mean spirited which was something I just didn't expect and am really not in a place to cope with at the moment.”

This is the danger of this medium. We log on hoping for relief or distraction, and instead we sometimes encounter something that offends, outrages, or wounds us. I feel for Alan—I know from previous conversations that this has not been a good year for him.

Let this be a reminder to all of us: Do not venture onto the internet when you’re in a state of emotional vulnerability. It rarely goes the way we hope. Pressure always seeks an escape valve, and online spaces are full of sharp edges. It is far better to talk with a real person—call someone and hear a human voice with all its nuance—than to stare at static words on a screen that you can reread over and over, each time deepening the wound.

Praying for Alan and so sorry he is at this chapter in his life. I am guessing he might be open to any of us reaching out. I don't really know.  I know he is still on telegram, but not sure how esle to contact him.

Rich, if you read this I hope you chalk it under unfortunate shit happens. On most other days that post would have generated the funny back and forth that we have seen many times in the past.  I am sure Alan would be open to any conversation with you, that is an invitation never an expectation. 

[email protected]  For anyone who might want to contact Alan. 

 

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