Good morning, digital neighbors! How about a venture into another book of quotes and sayings by Dr. Mardy Grothe? His first book I bought years ago on Amazon was Oxymoronica. He has about three or four more books of quotes and aphorisms.

Aphorisms are literature’s hand luggage. Light and compact, they fit easily into the overhead compartment of your brain and contain everything you need to get through a rough day at the office or a dark night of the soul. — James Geary

Today’s tour is through Ifferisms, aphorisms that begin with “if.” In his introduction to this little book of quotes, Mardy has the following to say:

“All of these observations, of course, begin with the word if. I have coined the term ifferism for this kind of aphorism, and I intend to celebrate them in this book. While most aphorisms do not begin with the word if, there are many thousands that do—and they are among history’s most compelling quotations.”

“At one level, ifferism is simply a playful pun on the word aphorism. But at another level, the term points to one of the most fascinating aspects of the human experience: the ability to use our imaginations to perform thought experiments. Aristotle maintained that the mark of an intelligent person was to entertain an idea without actually believing it—and this is exactly what people do when they engage in ‘what if?’ thinking.”

Fun books, worth a look on Amazon if you are looking for something you can pick up, take a thought sip, and be about your day. Off to some fun phrases from the first chapter of his book: Classic Ifferisms. Happy Tuesday, my friends!

If anything can go wrong, it will. — Murphy’s Law

The saying originated with Captain Edward A. Murphy, Jr., a U.S. Air Force engineer stationed at Wright Air Development Center in Ohio. In 1949, he was assisting on a research project at Edwards Air Force Base in California. The project, headed by Air Force Major John Paul Stapp, was examining the effect of rapid deceleration on human beings—as when a pilot ejects from a supersonic aircraft. In one of the first-ever uses of crash-test dummies, a rocket sled would speed down a long track at over 600 miles per hour and come to a halt in less than two seconds. Some courageous human subjects—including Major Stapp—also rode the rocket sleds, serving as human guinea pigs in one of the riskiest research projects of all time.

A 1949 test run revealed that a complete series of sensors designed by Murphy to measure the extent of gravitational forces—or g-forces—had been wired incorrectly. There were only two possible ways of doing the wiring and, in every single case, a technician had done the job in the wrong way. There are differing reports about what Murphy said when the problem became apparent. In his version offered years later, a distraught Murphy took responsibility for the error because he hadn’t been absolutely clear in his original instructions. He recalled saying, “If there’s more than one way to do a job, and one of those ways will result in disaster, then somebody will do it that way.” Another version, also offered years later, came from George Nichols, another Air Force engineer present at the time. In the Nichols version, a frustrated Murphy blamed the mistake on the technician by saying, “If there is any way to do it wrong, he will.” Whatever Murphy’s exact words, the people in attendance were taken with the observation. Somebody in the group—possibly Major Stapp, but it is not certain—even suggested that it might be called Murphy’s Law. Captain Murphy’s observation quickly made the rounds among the engineers on the project and was transformed into more general principles like “if anything can go wrong it will” and “if it can happen, it will.” The basic idea behind the cleverly worded remark was extremely serious: If the engineers were to reduce the risk of a disastrous outcome for Major Stapp and the other subjects strapped to the rocket sled, they must anticipate every single thing that could go wrong.

Some anonymous Ifferisms:

If you want something done right, do it yourself.

If you play with fire, you’re likely to get burned.

If guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns.

If you don’t make any mistakes, you don’t make anything.

If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.

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